ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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