Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
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Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
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There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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