I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
