Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
