dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
