So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize