I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God shit irony all over that family
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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