Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
