I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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