who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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