Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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