he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize