his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize