If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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