Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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