butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
