I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
