goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize