when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
