Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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