She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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