My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You took a bar mat shot.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
