with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
