I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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