THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
