check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
