Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
