Yo dont text me then not text me
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
