I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
