I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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