Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
