in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
