I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
