i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
