There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Everything about him screamed your future.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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