We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
