i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
