I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
