I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
