It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just google imaged poop.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
