If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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