What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
