I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
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Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
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For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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