He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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