Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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