so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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