OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
