JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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