New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
