Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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