Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
