xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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