I feel like I'm in dance class right now
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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