You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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