The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
